happy 3rd month birthday

i've missed sharing details about gabriel's second month. my apologies to all my readers for not posting more often. while motherhood has been overwhelming, it's not the only excuse. when i find a moment to blog, i am often restricted by energy, time, and/or mobility. it takes far too long to type with one hand while the other arm is holding baby. plus, gabriel makes it very clear that he doesn't like it whenever i don't give him my undivided attention during his waking moments. and when i can use both hands to type, i'm either too exhausted (it's usually dark o'clock when i have more freedom to read/type) or haven't had the time to gather my thoughts and feelings. can you imagine what a post written during the wee hours would look like? i'm amazed that i'm able to feed and change him during these times without serious mishap!

but i'm running out of time before twinkle wakes up from his nap....

weighing in at 14lbs, 8oz and in the 75th percentile for weight and head growth, twinkle turned three months old and started month four this past monday. his personality is shining through -- he loves to cuddle, prefers smaller crowds, curious, and full of energy. he has hit most of his milestones that include smiling, laughing, cooing, holding his head up, sitting up, recognizing faces, rolling to one side, reaching for and grabbing objects, and briefly standing (with assistance). he also has been exploring -- oakland's hiking trails, quaint neighborhoods and lively farmers markets, cool pizzerias in sf, our nation's historical treasures found within washington dc, and georgetown. it's amazing how fast babies grow and develop. what a privilege and blessing it has been to be home during this time -- to actually be here to help him grow and witness him hitting these milestones.

and we've been celebrating. :)

for gabriel's 2nd month birthday, we had a small, red egg and ginger party. we decided to have a low key celebration that just included our extended family members and to have the larger celebration for his tol (korean first birthday celebration). with his baek-il (100 days) coming up, we're planning another low key celebration.

another reason for celebration? our family continues to expand. twinkle has a new, adorable cousin to play and grow up with who is just one month younger. my first boo, caden, is smitten with his lil' cousin gabriel and lil' bro kyan, and my family is blessed with three grandchildren -- all little boys. we're thrilled :)

on another note, time has flown by. in a few weeks, i'll be headed back to work soon. i'm sad that my maternity leave is almost over. i've enjoyed 'unplugging', taking care of things around the house (we have so many overdue house to-do's including getting new curtains for our living room), and spending all this time with twinkle and my family. i made some new friends -- fellow new mommies from my breast feeding support group -- who have helped me transition into mommyhood and kept me sane with their "been there before" advice and guidance. i've also managed to keep in touch with my other girlfriends who have become mommies these past summer months. it is *so* nice to be entering mommyhood around the same time -- we are experiencing this together and can learn from one another. speaking of learning, it has been a huge learning curve with many moments of exhaustion, frustration, nervousness on how to care for gabriel and the future, and insecurity about whether or not i'm a good mommy to him. but it has been equally tempered with times of great joy, excitement, laughter and plain old fun. being able to take this time off is another priceless gift and blessing from God.

with just a few weeks left, i've spent the past month preparing to go back. i've been stocking the freezer with breast milk - courtesy of late night pumping sessions. it's a decent supply although i wish i pumped more often (yes, i worry that my milk supply will decrease and there won't be enough milk). we've started trial runs with our kind, maternal, day care provider. i've had to update my wardrobe to accommodate this 'new' body -- although i'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight, things have shifted and most of my clothes do not properly fit (yes, it's frustrating). i'm searching for fast, easy recipes in anticipation for the evening whirlwind of having to pick up baby, fix dinner, feed dogs, get baby ready for bed, clean up, prep for the next day, check work email, and unwind before going to bed and starting the cycle all over again.

am i nervous about this new transition? you betcha. i'm trying to have faith that we are doing the right thing, that it'll all work out, that we'll settle into a routine, that baby will be cared for while we're at work and that we're not missing out on him growing up... it's scary but we must move forward, trusting God and having faith that He is watching over and protecting us.