waiting game

i can't believe that we're already in june and that we're at the tail end. depending on my ob's estimated delivery date (june 17) or the ultrasound's group (june 6) -- i'm somewhere between week 38 and 40. b and i are in disbelief and feeling anxious. a few weeks ago, i wasn't in any hurry for twinkle to arrive. today, i'm feeling more open minded to twinkle coming.

week 35-38 (almost week 39 or maybe we're at 40 - who knows?! lol...)

• the bump/physical appearance: for the past few weeks b has made the following comment "sweetie, i ♥ you and your belly is huge." i feel like my belly is the size of a basketball, and it was getting more and more uncomfortable with driving a car.
  
• chest size: my faithful supportive undergarmets that i've worn the past couple of months are starting to few snug. gah!!!
  
• appetite: grazing and always feeling hungry. gaining about a pound a week -- very scary.
  
• digestion: heartburn. constipation. and still experiencing some issues down there (ahem).
  
• mood: swinging between moments of anxiousness and calm... still wrapping my head around the idea that anytime now, we will have this little life to care for and that life as we know it will no longer be the same. also recognize that it's much easier to care for twinkle while he's inside my belly and well, not yet ready to give up my "freedom."
  
• mommy brain: still there. no signs of this "forgetfulness state" going away anytime soon.
  
• twinkle activity: he's been active with his kicks, jabs, stretches and hiccups. now that he's turned downward, he is focused on rotating sides and practicing his kicks/jabs to my sides -- some of them are doozies that elicit a "yowza" from me.
  
• sleep: b and i are still sleep deprived. i haven't slept through an entire evening without having to wake up every two hours to go on a bathroom run. unfortunately the lack of sleep has worn him down and now he is suffering from a nasty, nasty flu/cold. he has been coughing non-stop all week and hasn't slept in two days (coughing all night long). he's headed for another doctor's visit this afternoon.
• activity level: i get too tired or experience too many contractions during the hour-long commute to and from work (and back) that it's not really very safe for me to drive such long distances each day. so on doctor's orders, i've started working from home since last week. so far, so good. i definitely have been trying to rest and take things easy as much as possible which has helped.
  
• mobility/agility: with this huge, basketball/beach ball sized belly, it has gotten pretty cumbersome for me to move around. it is awkward for me to do a lot of things but i still try. and when i can't, i'm learning to lean on b or others for help. it's pretty weird since i'm used to doing things on my own -- not used to asking or waiting for someone to help me grab something from the cabinet, move or carry something for me.
  

the past few weeks have been a flurry blur of prepping for my maternity leave and handing things off to my colleagues covering for me, a very fun baby shower for twinkle that included a gourmet brunch at my house, lots and lots of nesting/summer cleaning at home, and a whirlwind of doctors and hospital visits to track twinkle's progress and make sure he's doing ok inside my belly.

speaking of the shower -- it was really, really nice. i felt so pampered and well showered with gifts, well wishes and support from my girlfriends and relatives. truly, i'm blessed and couldn't have asked for anything more. my hostesses were fabulous -- from the fishie theme invites and decorations, to the fabulously yummy food (all cooked by chef jackie), to the fun games, and i enjoyed the chance to catch up with some of my friends from school, my dragon boat team, church and my family. despite the heat, everything went smoothly and the girls had fun. after folks left, we moved the gifts to our dining room table where they sat there for a week or so. b and i chuckled each time we saw the table -- it was *that* daunting of a task to sort it out! when we finally tackled the table, it set off another round of nesting, organzing and cleaning. i think it's instinctual because once twinkle arrives, it'll be some time before we have time and energy to make the house presentable. ;) kudos to my hostesses and chef -- beck, deb, audge, cindy, and judy! also kudos to jackie and ellen who came early to help the hostesses out and to cook!

b has been super anxious (along with family members and friends alike) for twinkle's arrival. i used to think he would arrive early but now i've changed my mind. i think he's going to make us all wait. :)